Folks in our office are slaves to a strange culture. I prefer to call it “Sweet Culture”. We frequently get a blank email with subject “Sweets at my desk”. What the heck? I will be busy waging a loosing battle against all powerful and mighty siesta after hogging generous volume of free lunch. I will be desperately waiting for an email with some entertainment value so that I could save myself from embarrassment of being caught snoring with mouth wide open. During such trying times I get this dead as wood blank email with a sweet subject line. Such mails bring tremendous fury and frustration in me and greatly disturb my internal peace for many reasons.
Firstly, after gobbling up to dangerously high "neck level", mention of the word food can cause eruption of undigested lava from my protruding belly. This surely degrades hygiene level in the work environment and results in loss of productivity of my colleagues. Unmindful of such a risk, some spamster crook bulkmails his charity. This is the primary reasons behind my hatred towards spam.
Secondly, I find difficult to accumulate enough energy to walk length and breadth of the office to locate this moron’s desk, fight with fellow contenders for my piece of fortune, give a synthetic broad smile and say thank you and finally walk back to my desk like a war hero. When I refuse to answer Mother Nature’s call during this hour how can one expect me to answer this idiot’s call?
Thirdly, many of these folks use this act of generosity to advertise that they are foreign returned. In this era of globalization tell me an edible thing that is available abroad and not available in Bangalore. They just allow others to hog meager quantity of chocolate with a ulterior motive of hogging huge limelight.
Fourthly, some people use this to propagate their religious beliefs to atheists like me. They come up with a blank mail with a devotional subject line “Thirupathi prasadam at my desk”. First of all they get couple of free laddus in Tirupati. After distributing it among family and friends they will be left with half or a quarter of a laddu. Look at their audacity. They invite entire office of 300+ staff to fight for that quarter piece of laddu. I prefer to brand them sadists. They enjoy watching people fight for a laddu grain.
Finally, some need no reasons to pose like Danashoora Karna. Once a good fellow sent us all a mail declaring “Mysorepak at my desk”. Due to extreme pressure subjected on me by my neighbours, I agreed to accept his charity. My dream of eating ghee soaked soft and delicious Mysorepak was dashed immediately after I saw it. Only the invisible god knows which road side cart produced that academy award winning piece of sweet. It was hard as stone, had smell of used groundnut oil, and brought strange expressions worth recording on the faces of people who consumed it. Finally as part of the mandatory custom that must be followed by every recipient of charity; I thanked him and posed him a question with utmost curiosity. I asked him the reason behind this Mother Theresa act. Our pal with out taking his eyes of the monitor coolly replied. “No reasons. I just felt like distributing sweets”. Next day a quarter of the office applied for leave giving variety of reasons like tummy trouble, stomach upset, loose motion, dysentery, diarrhea etc. etc. and other three fourth was seen making beeline near toilettes.
With great determination, I am planning to inspire someone to raise this issue during all hands meeting and urge our country head to ban this not so “Sweet Culture”.
Firstly, after gobbling up to dangerously high "neck level", mention of the word food can cause eruption of undigested lava from my protruding belly. This surely degrades hygiene level in the work environment and results in loss of productivity of my colleagues. Unmindful of such a risk, some spamster crook bulkmails his charity. This is the primary reasons behind my hatred towards spam.
Secondly, I find difficult to accumulate enough energy to walk length and breadth of the office to locate this moron’s desk, fight with fellow contenders for my piece of fortune, give a synthetic broad smile and say thank you and finally walk back to my desk like a war hero. When I refuse to answer Mother Nature’s call during this hour how can one expect me to answer this idiot’s call?
Thirdly, many of these folks use this act of generosity to advertise that they are foreign returned. In this era of globalization tell me an edible thing that is available abroad and not available in Bangalore. They just allow others to hog meager quantity of chocolate with a ulterior motive of hogging huge limelight.
Fourthly, some people use this to propagate their religious beliefs to atheists like me. They come up with a blank mail with a devotional subject line “Thirupathi prasadam at my desk”. First of all they get couple of free laddus in Tirupati. After distributing it among family and friends they will be left with half or a quarter of a laddu. Look at their audacity. They invite entire office of 300+ staff to fight for that quarter piece of laddu. I prefer to brand them sadists. They enjoy watching people fight for a laddu grain.
Finally, some need no reasons to pose like Danashoora Karna. Once a good fellow sent us all a mail declaring “Mysorepak at my desk”. Due to extreme pressure subjected on me by my neighbours, I agreed to accept his charity. My dream of eating ghee soaked soft and delicious Mysorepak was dashed immediately after I saw it. Only the invisible god knows which road side cart produced that academy award winning piece of sweet. It was hard as stone, had smell of used groundnut oil, and brought strange expressions worth recording on the faces of people who consumed it. Finally as part of the mandatory custom that must be followed by every recipient of charity; I thanked him and posed him a question with utmost curiosity. I asked him the reason behind this Mother Theresa act. Our pal with out taking his eyes of the monitor coolly replied. “No reasons. I just felt like distributing sweets”. Next day a quarter of the office applied for leave giving variety of reasons like tummy trouble, stomach upset, loose motion, dysentery, diarrhea etc. etc. and other three fourth was seen making beeline near toilettes.
With great determination, I am planning to inspire someone to raise this issue during all hands meeting and urge our country head to ban this not so “Sweet Culture”.
Comments
Sooper Article!!!
Chaitra